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On Gifting

Quinton J. Miller • Dec 13, 2021
Image of Quinton's babies
Christmas is around the corner, so here are some thoughts on the characteristics of a good gift.

First, a good gift reflects both the giver and the receiver. That is, it reflects the care and heart of the giver, not merely meeting a need or desire of the recipient. Second, it should be a surprise, which is why I frown on the practice of telling people what you want. And third, it should be a bit of a splurge, something the recipient wouldn’t have gotten on their own.

A gift that doesn’t reflect the giver has no soul. The same with a gift that is expected. That said, an otherwise soulless or expected gift can be redeemed by thoughtful wrapping. A creative wrap job with soul can make up for a present without soul. A good wrap job conveys thoughtfulness and reflects the giver and recipient in ways that go beyond the gift itself. 

Years ago I started the practice of wrapping my presents in Wall Street Journals. I would leaf through a stack of journals looking for a unique ad or picture that reflected some aspect of the recipient. It allowed each present to have personality, to be one of a kind, and sometimes comically insulting. Wrap jobs for dad favored ads leaning towards the geriatric; wrap jobs for my sister usually featured a wedding ring. I once wrapped an inconsequential present for my brother in baling wire.

Personally, I like to give books. This reflects my own love of books, and there are endless ways to find a good book for a recipient. Also, a book doesn’t take up much space.

A nexus of interests is tremendously helpful. For that reason, it’s always been easier to find a good present for the men in my life than the women. I can almost always find something in common with a guy, but its harder when I’m trying to find something for my mother, wife, or sister. I’ve often defaulted to kitchen gadgets; I like cooking and gadgets, and the women in my life spend a lot of time in the kitchen.  

An Amazon wish list can be tremendously helpful. Not so people can pick out something you’ve preselected (lame!), rather a well curated list presents a picture of you and your interests, making it easier for a giver to find a nexus of interests and select something that speaks to both parties.

Last Christmas my brother-in-law, Josh, did a great job of getting me a gift. First, he looked over my Amazon wish list, then he called with several questions which both probed for information and provided misdirection. Then he got me three advanced walkie talkies which he chose based on his experience as a fireman, and geared to myself and my two older boys. It was a brilliant gift, something that wasn’t even on my radar. It reflected both himself and myself, was a surprise, and wasn’t something I would have gotten by myself.

At Christmas, we celebrate God’s gift of His Son to the world. A gift that reflected His deepest essence, and that addressed our greatest need. It was the surprise of the ages, revealed under unexpected circumstances and wrapped in swaddling clothes. It was a gift that we could never purchase on our own, but only accept with humble gratitude. 

In this season of gifting, may our gifts reflect that greatest Gift.

The Law Office of Quinton J. Miller is a general practice law firm with an emphasis on Estate Planning and serves clients throughout Sacramento and Northern California. We assist clients with estate and long term care planning, and small businesses with transition planning, litigation, and general business needs. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please contact us at (916) 714-1717 or visit our website at www.QuintonLaw.com.
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